And I start again...

......Talking about amends… if it hadn’t been for ‘someone’ asking me to speak my feelings out loud, and a fellow writer and friend talking to me, I probably wouldn’t have written today. And of course, music. Music ‘grinds my gears’. Yes, it is the single most inspiring thing on the planet. Inspiration, according to a friend of mine, doesn’t come from sitting at a beach in tranquility… she says, ‘you gotta get HURT to write… and if you start once, you should never stop’. I agree with her to some extent... Other people, just like to talk and talk and talk. And when it’s just not enough to talk to all the people within their reach, they write about what they think, because apparently there’s nothing better than thinking out loud, it makes life easier, and you have no loyalties to anyone, whatsoever.


....In my two decades of being alive, I have definitely found my soul to be incomplete and restless, most of the time… the only time I actually felt like I couldn’t be more complete was one night at a concert for my favorite band. How interesting it is, that everything comes down to music! It makes one feel content. And I had other things going on in life that made me content. But real contentedness comes from within, if you know who you are, you can take on any situation and any hurdle in life, and all you’ll feel is a limited amount of sorrow, because you believe in yourself, you know who you are, and you know that life is never about happiness. People believe that ‘happiness is a mat that sits on their doorway’… well, grief doesn’t even bother to knock.

Like my best friend said to me, and always believed, and really got me to believe, that life is about the journey, you look back, and you laugh about it… the silly little things that made you so sad while you were at them… It’s about the memory that you create, its about the fun you had, its about the hurdles you crossed, that made you the person you are today…

In all of this, I’d like to ask of you one thing, and one thing only. And that would be to take on life… and smile, like you mean it. And mean it too.

And in all of this, in the two decades, but more importantly the last decade of my life, I only get to know myself better each time I’m thrown into the deep end… and self actualization is where I am headed. I’d be lucky if I found it before I died… but yes, it’s the journey that counts… so here I am, I had stopped. I had taken a break from all the driving… but now, now you can see that car on the highway zoom past ya. That was me, flooring it.